Quick thoughts on entrepreneurship & “self-care”
It’s become fashionable to bemoan the pace of modern life but I don’t think this era of workers are necessarily working harder. I come from farming stock where 7-day work weeks and 16 hour days of demanding physical labour are the norm. I’ve never met a mother who’s (mostly invisible, unpaid) work didn’t make high demands of her. I think that it’s a privilege to be able to work hard at something you believe in, when the vast majority of people on the planet work hard just to survive.
Entrepreneurs are haunted by ambition. It’s very hard to stop striving and often, I don’t want to stop. Hard work is good for the soul. In a world of instant gratification and quick fixes, there’s a lot to be said for patiently, day after day, sitting in your chair and doing the work. Carve out the time, protect it, sit in the chair, do the work. Not pottering around the work, or thinking about the work, or sorting your email or re-arranging your work plan. But actually, deliberately, doing the work.
But of course, we’re supposed to do both the striving and the self-care. The idea of “self-care” feels so fluffy and tangental to me. Self-care shouldn’t be a sickly syrup that you pour over a life of vice-grip pressure. It’s about being knee deep in the shit and still staying true to yourself, accepting you strengths and flaws and developing a kind, consistent relationship with yourself.
If you want to be sustainably successful, you can’t build your career on burnout and exhaustion. (Trust me, I’ve tried.) Sacrifice is needed to achieve any goal but limiting your ability to live a full life impedes the work, rather than serving it. Work shouldn’t be a means to hide from the world, rather than experience it. The cultural belief that professional success equates to personal worthiness is one of the great deceits of our time.
I love ticking things off lists. As I type, there are three to do lists to my right. But happiness is not found at the end of that list. The things that really, truly matter in life can rarely be put on a ‘to do’ list and ceremoniously ticked off.
True success is about making choices. Focusing on what you want, and ignoring the rest.
Don’t over-rely on outside advice. I think we’re too quick to jump to mentorship, coaching & internet ‘how tos’. You need to learn to trust your own intuition, to value your own ideas and set your own parameters. The things that percolate to the top of your mind and refuse to evaporate. That’s where you should start. Work hard, generate momentum, turn off the internet.
Remember that life passes by. Don’t be so wrapped up in overwhelm that you don’t take it in. We plan for special days, but life is in the everyday. It’s the morning shower, the first cup of tea, the hugs, the flowers, the laundry, the traffic and everything in between. That’s where your life is.
