The Happiness Industry
Reading Meghan Daum’s fantastic piece in the New York, I was struck by this line:
“Clarissa is working through her losses and learning to have a more positive attitude.”
Are you really gonna tell a kid who’s spent her life in the foster care system, experiencing the kind of persistent lost that is unfathomable to most of us, needs to be more positive? It’s a galling suggestion. In the social worker’s defence, her intent was pure. She thinks that a optimistic disposition will help this kid & it might. But preaching positivity to a kid who realistically has very little to be positive about? It’s pretty galling.
It reminded me “Happy or Die” about the cult of positivity, the idea that blind optimism is actually harmful to society. That the experiences of those who suffer ought to be minimised and twisted into a ‘can do’ story. That the tragedy of a cancer diagnosis is less a horror, and more an opportunity for a makeover. In the book, Condelezza Rice described President Bush as “almost demanding optimism. He doesn’t like pessimism, hand wringing or doubt”. It’s a comprehensive examination of how blind optimism, delusion and denial contributed to global events, like the economic collapse and the war in Iraq.
On a human level too, feigning happiness is both unrealistic and ineffective. Sure we all benefit from happiness boosters; a gratitude journal, a work-out, the nice chocolate, good sleep and time with friends all keep me chipper. But my question is this: if you have to create happiness, what’s it really worth? If it’s an engineered process, is it an authentic one? Is it really wise to paper over the cracks in our psyches with faux positivity clap trap?
I don’t think so.
Life is not happy all the time. Every life is marred by challenge and upset. You cannot live wrapped in cotton wool, unless you live so cautiously that you don’t really live at all. I don’t think “happy” is a worthwhile goal. It seems so flat and monochrome, a bit vacuous and transitionary.
There is something else to aim for : wholeness.
I liked this quote too:
“I actually attack the concept of happiness. The idea that—I don't mind people being happy—but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness. It's a really odd thing that we're now seeing people saying "write down three things that made you happy today before you go to sleep" and "cheer up" and "happiness is our birthright" and so on. We're kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position. It's rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are. Happiness and victory and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us, but they don't teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain and then as soon as they experience pain they say, "Quick! Move on! Cheer up!" I'd like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word "happiness" and to replace it with the word "wholeness." Ask yourself, "Is this contributing to my wholeness?" and if you're having a bad day, it is.”
—Hugh MacKay, author of The Good Life
